Museletter  - November 2004

My News 

I have been asked to speak in February to a group of ladies on the topic of 'How to improve your sex life' which is of course a very interesting subject. Another interesting subject is why they want me to talk on this subject! Well, I'm always up for a challenge, so I am preparing my talk and I would like some support from you. It's my assertion that our lives are made up of various elements, with which we need to be satisfied in order for us to feel that our lives are working well (see www.dynamiccoaching.co.uk/wheel_of_life.htm for an example exercise). Similarly, our sex lives are made up of various elements. The question is what are the elements for you? I have created a list myself, but if I was to get a large response we could create a more objective list, which would be very helpful. On my list are elements such as: tenderness, consideration, and communication. I would like to know what's on yours, and how many elements? I promise to share the findings, at least with the responders, so there's a good reason for doing it! I would really appreciate your response, thank you.

My Muse

This week I attended the Professional Speakers Association European Convention and I learned a huge amount about being a professional speaker. I think the most important thing I learnt or re-learnt or remembered was that it's not the speaking but the motivation behind it that's key.

Motivation can be in one of three forms: Material, feelings and purpose.

I want the financial rewards of being a successful professional speaker. A six figure income would suit me very nicely. I've got University fees on the horizon and I would like a bigger house, new car and some great holidays.

Some people say that the only reason I want the material rewards is not for themselves but the feelings I would get from them. Sure, I accept that. I would get plenty of positive feelings from the material rewards. And I would get some positive feelings from being a professional speaker. The applause, the recognition, the respect, the creativity, the standing ovations (I can dream, can't I?). But one thing we know for sure about feelings is that they come and they go. However good I feel in one moment, some time in the future they will be replaced. This makes feelings and material rewards flaky motivation. I not saying they don't work, in many cases they do, but only up to a point.

I'm lucky, I know what my life purpose is and I am aligning my life so that what I do is in accordance with it. My purpose, in it's bottom line form, is to empower people. (The full version will be on my website soon). Whether it's speaking to a group, coaching one to one, taking scouts camping, or being a parent, my purpose is my motivation. And I've found it to be the most effective form of motivation available to me.

So if the Porsche or the detached house in the country are motivating for you, great. I hope you get them and enjoy them. If however, they don't seem to be supporting you to create success in your life, then maybe it's time to use the ultimate motivational tool.

Now I know for many people, probably most people, discovering their life purpose is a very daunting thought. Some of us think it's not even something we have any control over, it's God given. And maybe it is. Who knows? What I do know is that you are going to discover it or create it, because I don't think we can be truly happy until we find it.

If you want my support in helping you discover your own unique purpose, please get in touch, as it's not something I can impart through a Museletter! I would love to support you in this quest.

Book Recommendation

I get more feedback from the book recommendation than anything else I write, which is interesting, now I think about it! This month I want to recommend a book that may help anyone looking at purpose. It's a book that many of you will have read and it's on my top recommended books list on the website. Many of you will have read it, as it's sold millions of copies. And there's a very good reason for it. It's brilliant. It's The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It has the power to move you in a way that very few books can. Trust me, after reading The Alchemist you will not be the same! It affected me intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. If you haven't read it, you are missing out on a treat.

To buy the book click here 

 

Opportunity to Contribute 

My Friend Elaine Mace wrote telling me about a charity that could benefit from additional support. It is called Kids Company. www.kidsco.org.uk

"The aim of Kids Company is to deliver emotional and practical support within structures which are directly accessible by children - and not dependent on a carer making the commitment to seek help on their behalf.

As many of you know I teach in a school in Hackney, we have recently bought in Kids Company, they are providing, therapeutic support to children who are is desperate need of it, through Art and Play therapy and 1:1 support.

Let me illustrate through one child. This child called Andrew became a brother of a baby boy in February. This was his second brother the other one was born 10 months earlier, Andrew was 6 at the time. His father was in prison for Violent Abuse of Andrew's mother, and as a consequence Andrew's mother moved from one end of the country to London leaving behind Andrew's friends and family, his mother moved in Andrew's second father. Andrew loved his own father and longed to see him. There was never enough money to pay for a trip to the prison. This situation came to a head for Andrew in February and he became very very angry. He couldn't be in a classroom as he would hit out at other 6 year olds in a very violent way that it terrified other children so he couldn't remain at school and he couldn't be at home because he did the same and there were the two babies. He looked like an old man, deep furrows on his forehead, angry eyes, bruised and cut knuckles where he was punching all the time.

The holidays were approaching and we were all very worried. Kids Company came to the rescue. They provided a Family Support Worker to support Andrew, his mum and the two babies, £50 to help the money situation and so Andrew could see his father and 3 days a week someone to go into the house to help Andrews mum with housework, shopping, cleaning etc., AND because Kids Company provide holiday activities Andrew was able to attend and go swimming, cinema, park etc., etc.,

When we came back to school Andrew was calmer, happier focused and now has begun to achieve success at school.

Kids Company desperately need financial support. Could you or do you know anyone who could support Kids Company? If you do please email karen Stenning at karen@kidsco.org.uk and make a difference. Love Elaine