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Museletter
-
February
2004
My News
I delivered my
How to Improve Your Sex
Life talk and received some very positive feedback from the ladies of Rickmansworth. I am very grateful to all of you who contributed by responding with your own
Elements because the results of the survey were the main content of the talk. I know I promised you the results, and I will get them to you shortly. I have a busy schedule in the next few weeks, with 2 confidence workshops I have been asked to deliver at an arts group for disabled people, a motivational talk at my
boys school and 2
Easiest Way to Double Your
Profits talks. And a leadership/public speaking programme I am running for the Outlook Organisation.
One of the frustrations I have with coaching is that I would love to tell you the successes my clients are achieving, but I have confidentiality agreements! So suffice to say, I find it an honour to be able to support people to make these changes that brings more success and happiness. Thanks guys.
My Muse
I think that one of the most effective attributes we can utilise is commitment. However, I have to say that very rarely do I see people really committed. We seem to live in a society that is virtually a commitment free zone. Over half of marriages will end in the divorce courts, if you stay in a job more than four or five years you are considered Îa loserâ and banks and building societies reward new customers at the expense of their loyal ones.
The most important point though, for me, is that I donât see people who are committed to their own lives, and living the best possible life they can. It always makes my blood boil when I hear people at a funeral saying ãCan you believe that Fredâs gone? You just never know when itâs going to happen. I am really going to live every day of my life nowä Why did poor Fred have to die, just so you learn this vital life lesson?
If you really want to be happy (and who doesnât?) you just need to live your life. To me that means consciously choosing what you do and feel in as many moments as possible. Thatâs what we need to commit to.
So what is commitment? I believe that initially itâs a decision. And thatâs just the start. Commitment, when in full force, is like a roaring fire in our belly, creating the energy to propel us forward, to get over or round any obstacles that get in our way. But how do you build a roaring fire? The wrong way is to get a few large logs and put a match under them. The match will just burn out (and probably your fingers!) before the big logs can catch. The best way to light a fire, is to get kindling, which is small dry
twigs and paper. Arrange the paper, scrunched up into balls at the bottom, with a pattern of twigs on top, creating a pyramid shape. Light the paper with just one match. The paper burns easily and quickly, which light the twigs, which burns a little slower than the paper. Then you carefully add more twigs into the flame the smallest twigs create until the larger twigs catch. They burn for longer than the little twigs, which gives you time to put on slighter larger twigs, which take time to catch. You put bigger and bigger twigs on until you can start fanning the fire. This has the effect of adding oxygen and makes the fire burn stronger. The more vigorous the fanning, the bigger the flames become. But if you fan too early, you can blow out the fire. You keep fanning, and adding larger pieces of wood until the big logs are on and it becomes very strong.
Itâs the same with commitment. The decision is the match. The paper, twigs and pieces of wood are the reasons why you are committed to your decision. And it doesnât matter what the decision is. It could be personal, a relationship for example, or business, to double your profits, or a personal challenge, to lose weight or run a marathon.
You first need a decision. Which, when you make it, is pure potential. Same as a match is the potential for fire. If itâs not struck, itâs pretty useless.
Then you need to build up your decision with some motivation. Motivation comes from understanding why you want your goal to become reality. These are your own unique reasons. And the more you have, the stronger the commitment becomes. You may want to check that your reasons why are in alignment with your values. If they are they will be hugely motivating for you. Then you need to create some momentum with some action. While taking action, you need to be aware of the effect the action has on your motivation. Sometimes the actions create more motivation, and sometimes the initial actions can reduce your motivation. If this is the case it is key that you Îthrow another log on the fireâ. Create enough energy to get you round or over the obstacles.
Then keep acting and building up your own motivation. Continuously, until your goal is reached, and you may find that not only have you attained your goal, but also you have loved the journey of getting there, and also accomplished many other things with all this energy you have.
Time and again you see talented people not succeed, and also you see less talented people succeed, because they are committed. Itâs the secret, intangible, ingredient thatâs available to you anytime you want to connect to it.
Book Recommendation
Change the World for a Fiver: We are What We Do
I think this book would make a great present. Itâs full of great ideas that would make your world and the world a better place. Itâs written with great style and wit, and not at all pious, although it does have an underlying ecological message. But not all the ways to change the world are ecologically based, many are just simple actions we could take at no cost to us. Things like talking to old people, and young people, and giving blood, and making a stranger smile!
To buy the book click here
Opportunity to Contribute
I attended a talk last Tuesday by John Niland, who is a coach based in Brussels. Like all coaches he offers a sample session for people to try before making a commitment to coaching. However he doesnât offer a free sample, he asks the potential client to make a donation, to Pump Aid, who are a charity that provide clean water pumps in Africa. This struck me as a good idea. Can I ask you for your views? Iâll probably do between 100 and 150 sample sessions this year, and that could raise a tidy sum. Do you think it would put you off? And what about others? Is there a particular charity you would like me to consider donating to? If you want to know more about Pump Aid, and maybe give a donation, the website is www.pumpaid.org
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To have a free trial experience of Dynamic Coaching please call Nick Simmonds on 020 8868 7702 or email nick@dynamiccoaching.co.uk
