Museletter - March 2004

Welcome to my third Museletter, a collection of thoughts to enhance, educate and entertain.

My News

It's been a while since my last Museletter, because I must have been putting it off for a rainy day! I have to admit that I love the sunny weather we've had for it seems absolutely ages. The summer had a some major highlights for me: fantastic GCSE results for my son Rob, a wonderful camp with my Scouts where we went Gliding for 4 days, and being involved with bringing over a group of 11 children from Belorussia to stay for a month.

I also have been working very hard with Ian on our Changing for Good course. I trust that you have had an email from me about it. The response that we have received has been fantastic, and now people are registering for our first course, which will take place on the weekend of November 29/30th. Look at our website for more information, www.changingforgood.co.uk We still have places available so if you are interested in making changes in your behaviour, to improve your life, and supporting us, please get in contact.

My Muse

I've been spending quite a bit of time recently on my values. As those of you who have been coached by me will know, the coaching that I practise is very much values based. In fact I think values are so important that I came up with the following claim: 

I have the secret to happiness! Here it is:

In order to be happy, all with have to do is live our life according to our values, and in line with our purpose.
That's it. In line with my value of simplicity! 

But why are values so important? I think that we have a need of a sense of identity. Where do we get this? Some people get this from the job they do, others from a hobby, and some from their race or religion. Or a mix of these, which are all external references. Some people are more internally referenced and they take their sense of identity from their own thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

Our beliefs are just thoughts that we make up, often unconsciously, to help us make sense of a confusing world. They aren't true, but they give us a sense of certainty. And we fight to hold onto this certainty even when presented with facts that prove the belief wrong.

Feelings come and feelings go. That's a certainty. And thoughts come and go and often contradict themselves.
So here's the dilemma: we need (we believe!) a sense of identity, but if we use external references we know it's not the complete story, and the internal references are shifting sands, not a solid platform on which to build a life.

That's the beauty of values, and living a life based on values. It's a rock solid platform on which to create your life.

We all have values, and most of us share many values, but the exact mix and priorities is what makes us all unique. For many of us, our values are stored in our unconscious brain, and when we act in accordance with them, we get a good feeling, and when we don't act in accordance with them we feel bad, or guilty, or some other unpleasant feeling.

I would define happy as experiencing good or positive feelings. So all we need to do is to act in accordance with our values. Which means moving our values from our unconscious to our conscious brain.

If you're new to values work, all you need to do is make a list of all the things that are important to you. And then look underneath the items for the value they represent. You may find it helpful to look at people you like or admire, and ask what values do they have that like. Almost certainly those values will be your values. That's why we like them, because we share this or that value or values. You may find this activity is easier with someone else, as the external perspective gives clarity.

If you've done some values work before, why not get out your list and see if there is a value that is missing? Something that you know is important to you, but wasn't ready to pop out of the unconscious before?

When you have your values and consciously live them, my experience is that our personal energy and natural zest for life burst forth. It's like our bodies love us to honour and live out our values and give us the fuel to do more of it!

What I have been doing is picking 3 of my values for a week and every morning remind myself: "Today I am to express my values of energy, enthusiasm and simplicity" and each night I check how I've done. This reinforces these values into my consciousness, and next week I'll pick 3 different values.

If you have any feedback on values, I would love to hear it.

Book Recommendation

Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach

This is a stunningly beautiful book. It speaks on many levels and reveals great depths in both the author and reader. It is the story of the pursuit of perfection, and where it can take us. It is about life, death and really living. Richard Bach has a unique view on life and he is a brilliant writer. I'm a huge fan and have read all his books. Enjoy!

Click here to buy this book