Learning from Experience

Busyness gets in the way of capturing the quiet yet significant learnings from our lives.

I sat with a client last Friday coaching a monthly review. He’d had a relatively normal few weeks. Busy. Some challenges. Some things that went well, some that went less smoothly than expected. When we took time and considered the month, it was full of learning.

Here are five observations and learnings he’s happy to share.

1. Before you commit to something, ask not just “how long will this take?” but “what if it doesn’t go as smoothly as I expect?”

I took on a small project for a family member, assuming it would be straightforward. Midway through, it hit a snag. I felt frustrated - not really at the difficulty, but at the gap between what I’d expected and what was actually happening. That one question would have changed my entire experience of it.

2. Responding is so much more powerful than reacting.

I received a sharp comment from my partner. My instinct was to push back. I didn’t. I paused, considered what was underneath it, and responded to that instead. A few days later, the conversation had moved somewhere much better.

3. Knowing what you need from a conversation, and saying so before it starts, changes what you get.

I wanted to talk through a challenge I was working on. I realised that what I actually wanted wasn’t advice or solutions. I wanted a bit of space to think out loud. If I hadn’t been clear about that before starting, I’d have got the wrong kind of support - and found that frustrating.

4. Recording enables reflection. One without the other is half the job.

At the end of the month, my reflections felt a bit thin. Not because there was nothing there - because I hadn’t been recording as I went. When you capture in the moment, end-of-period reflection has something to work with. When you don’t, you’re trying to reconstruct something that’s hard to recall.

5. Journaling while developing a new skill could enhance the process.

I’d used journaling before but hadn’t kept it up. Knowing I only need a short term commitment should make it feel more manageable - which might be what makes the difference.

This is what a monthly review can provide. A structured moment to ask: what actually happened here, what did I learn, and what will I do differently?

Five valuable learnings from one ordinary month. That’s 50 or 60 in a year. Compounding.